Magnetic Authenticity Podcast with Jolynne Rydz
Welcome to the Magnetic Authenticity Podcast with Jolynne Rydz, where we elevate your leadership impact by embracing your true self. If you're ready to harness your strengths, level up your confidence and influence so you can make a bigger difference in this world, then you're in the right place.
Magnetic Authenticity Podcast with Jolynne Rydz
17: Beyond Inclusion - The Hidden Costs We're Not Talking About
Comments, questions? Let's connect!
What if everything we've been taught about diversity, equity, and inclusion is only the beginning of the journey? In this thought-provoking episode, we challenge the traditional DEI paradigm and propose something more transformative: empowering authenticity.
For over 70 years, we've been working on inclusion initiatives, yet discrimination persists. Why? Because approaches centered solely on DEI often trigger fear—fear of difference, fear of loss, fear of the unknown. When fear enters the equation, our primitive brains activate protective responses that undermine even the most well-intentioned efforts.
The concept of inclusion itself presupposes a "normal" majority that others need to be invited into—a fundamentally flawed premise when you consider that what we perceive as the majority actually represents only a small percentage of humanity. This framework keeps individuals with diverse backgrounds in a perpetual state of feeling like guests rather than essential contributors.
The GAPPS framework (Gratitude, Appreciation, Perception, Perspective and Shine) offers a practical pathway beyond inclusion to true empowerment. Like a bird that's been caged for years, simply opening the door isn't enough; we need to help each other feel safe enough to fly and explore our full potential.
For individuals who've faced discrimination, this approach provides tools to move from victim to victor mindset. For leaders and organisations, it offers strategies to create environments where authenticity can flourish and everyone can contribute their unique strengths—which science tells us are as individual as our fingerprints.
✨✨✨Ready to move beyond inclusion and Empower Authenticity? ✨✨✨
➡️Connect with me on LinkedIn and DM me the word "GAPPS" to receive a free guide on implementing the GAPPS framework in your own life, OR
➡️Book a complimentary consultation to explore how you can Empower Authenticity in your leadership and organisation.
References:
Campbell-Stephens, R. (2022).
Global majority: Decentring whiteness in educational leadership.
In M. Green & S. R. Santamaría (Eds.), Decentering Whiteness in Education: A Multidisciplinary Approach (pp. 93–108). Peter Lang Publishing.
Meltzoff, A. N., & Gilliam, W. S. (2024). Young children & implicit racial biases. Dædalus, 153(1), 65–83. https://doi.org/
💖Love the podcast?💖
You can pay it forward by:
- Rating and Reviewing wherever you listen
- Sharing it with others!
Ready to level up your impact?
➡️Book a complimentary mini-strategy session and I'll help unpack one of your current challenges
➡️Join our Masterclass Waitlist and get practical tools to level up your impact
Let's connect!
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jolynne-rydz/
https://www.instagram.com/jolynnerydz/
https://www.facebook.com/brillianceinspired
I am a Confidence and Success Coach for leaders, Organisational Development Consultant and independent Leadership Circle Profile® Certified Practitioner. Information shared about this tool is courtesy of Leadership Circle®, all rights reserved. www.leadershipcircle.com
We've been taught that diversity, equity and inclusion is the goal, but what if it's just the first step? What if focusing on D, e and I is actually costing us a lot and is costing us and forcing us to be stuck and unable to move forward? Where people are bickering about what one party is losing when another party gains, it's a give and take. It's a take and take scenario rather than a win-win. Today, I want to challenge this narrative of us needing to invite people in, to be inclusive, of people needing to be invited in to feel accepted, to feel like they have equal opportunity, to feel like they can use and do what they were born to do and use all of their strengths without all of this systemic barriers and inequity and privilege. See, if you know me, you know I often talk about empowerment, and true empowerment is not about waiting for someone else to let you in the door. It's about creating your own door and going through it, and I truly believe that's what we are all here to do. We are all here to shift and shape things in our own unique way and too often we're waiting for permission in air quotes for the majority again, air quotes to let us in the door, to go and make that difference, to feel appreciated, to feel like our strengths are valued, and we're looking for that in the wrong place.
Jolynne Rydz:Now, growing up, I've often wondered whether I didn't get the job. I didn't get that promotion. I didn't get paid equally as someone else doing the same role. I didn't get the job. I didn't get that promotion. I didn't get paid equally as someone else doing the same role. I didn't get that social invite. Did I not get it? Because I'm a woman, because I'm Asian, because I'm a mother and I have young kids, because I'm introverted, because I'm younger than I actually look? No other way. I look younger than I actually am. So have you ever wondered things about yourself and whether they have actually held you back from your opportunities, the places you've wanted to be, the groups that you've wanted to be a part of, the events that you've wanted to be included in?
Jolynne Rydz:See, diversity, equity, inclusion, diversity. Let me unpack it and then let me tell you why it's time to move beyond it. I'm not saying we disregard it. I'm saying we have to move a step forward from there. It's not enough to stop there. So diversity is about bringing people together, the people with different backgrounds, different identities and experiences. Equity is all about making sure that everyone has a fair chance as fair of a chance as someone else, and that means acknowledging that we don't all start from the same place. And inclusion is about creating those safe spaces where people feel genuinely valued and respected and feel like they belong.
Jolynne Rydz:So all of this sounds great on paper and a lot of the times, there's a lot of organizations doing a lot of great work in this space, but there's one thing that I haven't heard people talking about, and for quite some time now, I've been sitting here wondering should I say it, should I not? Should I say it, should I not? I'm just going to say it now. Okay, we need to move beyond D, e and I, because all of those three things, all of them, trigger fear, and when we trigger fear, we get people in the mindset of thinking I'm about to lose or I'm about to be unsafe, I'm about to be harmed, something about me is going to change in a negative way. And when we feel that way, as human beings we are hardwired to want to protect protect the status quo, protect what we have, protect the people that matter to us, protect what we've worked so hard for. So fear cannot be part of the equation, because as soon as fear is there, it's going to limit the efforts that we do. And I'm not saying that those efforts don't matter. I'm saying they are limited in what they can achieve. And I think that's why this is still a debate even now, after so many years and I'll get into how many years this has been going on later in this episode.
Jolynne Rydz:So let's look at diversity first. Diversity, yeah, is about difference. When we feel like we are different, this triggers our ego, our cave person brain, to want to protect and exclude and look for our tribe who are similar and familiar to us. We are naturally wanting to distance ourselves from people that are a little bit unknown, maybe a little bit awkward, a little bit different to us. So having difference and diversity in the language can subconsciously trigger this fear already.
Jolynne Rydz:Now let's talk about equity. So equity, again, is about leveling that playing field and acknowledging those barriers that so many people have. Now, taking a look at equity doesn't necessarily address the very systems that have put these things into place, because it's ignoring the fact that sometimes we're trying to fit people into these systems rather than re-looking at the whole system in its entirety. So what I mean by this is when we have things like targets and quotas to try and boost the people that have a few steps backwards in the walk of privilege. They don't have the same starting place, so we give them a few steps forward to try and equal the race right. So if you imagine a group of people lining up to do a hundred meter dash, we allow people to start at 90 meters from the finish line, some people 80, some people 50, because of the differences that they're already experiencing and their ability to get to that finish line. And that can be mindset, it can be physical, it can be perception, it can be so many different things. It can be the shoes that they're wearing, the clothes that they have. Do they have the, you know, fanciest running technology shoes that will get them quicker?
Jolynne Rydz:So when we look at trying to fix what we see as discrimination or gaps between what is fair and what is not, we're trying to do it in the same system and that won't always work. And what that can lead to is people, the other people who have currently the easier way of things. They can start to feel nervous, understandably. Some of them start to feel taken advantage of. Some of them start to feel like they are now being treated unfairly because they don't have that headstart. Hey, I want that headstart. Everyone wants the headstart right.
Jolynne Rydz:So some people respond to this behavior with a check your privilege type statement, and I get it. There is a value and importance in honoring and acknowledge your privilege, but not everyone realizes that and not everyone is equipped to do that. And telling people to check their privilege doesn't help take away the fear. It just entices people to camp down and hold down even more tightly to their views. It creates the very thing we're trying to avoid. It creates more diversion and diversity and opposition. It doesn't help. So both of these things ignore the fear which activates our biases, whether they be conscious biases or unconscious biases, so the way we act, whether we're aware of it or whether we're not.
Jolynne Rydz:And so this brings me to inclusion, which I think is the biggest one that I have a challenge with and I want to talk about because I think it needs to be talked about. So let's dive a little bit into the history here of how long inclusion's been around and why it is time that we go beyond it. So in 1920, the US Congress brought in the Women's Bureau of Department of Labor to address gender gaps in the workforce 1920. Fast forward to 1964, and again in the US, civil Rights Act was brought into fruition, prohibiting employment discrimination based on things like gender and ethnicity. Moving into Australia, in 1975, they introduced the Racial Discrimination Act, which, yes, talking about discrimination based on race, ethnicity, colour, if you like to call it, all of those types of things. By 1976, 60% of large organisations in the US were delivering some kind of equal opportunity training in their workplaces training in their workplaces. In 1984, in Australia, the Sex Discrimination Act was introduced, so making it illegal to discriminate people on the basis of their biological sex, their sexual orientation, their gender identity, how they see themselves in terms of gender, their relationship status, pregnancy, breastfeeding, all those kinds of things.
Jolynne Rydz:So I'm not going to go into more detail than that, but what I'm going to say is that for at least over 70 years or more we've been talking about inclusion already. We've been giving people the tools and it's still a problem. So it's time to move beyond. We've done I think we've done what we can with that and, yes, those things that are there, we can either keep the ones that we're working that are working, or add and tweak and rethink the ones that aren't. So inclusion let's break down inclusion even more so. Inclusion is that feeling of being welcome, respected and supported and valued for who you are.
Jolynne Rydz:But inclusion presupposes that there is a majority, a normal. Here come my air quotes, again in an audio podcast, the norm that people should fit in. But others are excluded Again because they're a little bit different. Right, so we naturally exclude them. But now we want to open the door and let them in. Yeah, great, come round to the campfire.
Jolynne Rydz:But this whole thing of including people into the majority is based on a false perception of what a majority even is, perception of what a majority even is. What I mean by this is, you would know that there is a perception out there that, in terms of leaderships, there is a dominating presence of Caucasian, white cisgender males, and that then has a ripple effect onto a Caucasian or European ethnicity background being the majority. Now, if you kind of look at multiple sources I had to look at multiple sources across the internet because there was no one place that had this and you calculate the numbers Roughly, this is very rough calculation. Only 9.9% of the global population consists of white, cisgender males. So that is not the norm, right? That is not the majority. In fact, if you check out Wikipedia, it talks about the global majority and the global majority 85% of the population is made up of African, asian, indigenous, latin American and mixed heritage background ethnicities.
Jolynne Rydz:So we've got to let go of this concept of there being a normal and a majority for people to come into. So, yes, there is inequity in our systems, in our workplaces, and, yes, there is an onus currently on those that are more privileged to invite others in, to let go of some of their privilege, some of their fruits of their labor, and share with others. And you see how kids play, right? We, naturally, when we come out and we're growing up, we want the cool things for ourselves. Yeah, because we know that to survive we need to harvest all of those fruits and feed our tribe. There you go, I'm getting so passionate. Again I'm hitting the table. We want to feed our tribe. There you go, I'm getting so passionate. Again, I'm hitting the table. We want to feed our tribes. It's natural, right?
Jolynne Rydz:So, of course, when we start to talk about diversity, equity and inclusion D, e and I there is going to be a perception by some that there's a job that's being taken away from people who may have more skill, knowledge and experience, and maybe that person doesn't realize that they're ignoring the fact that they have more skill, knowledge and experience because of their privilege. But that's okay, let's be kind here. We want to open up the conversation and I want to look at the perspective of the individual. So the person who's typically thought of as the minority and we now know they're part of that 85% majority. So for these people who are traditionally thought of as the minority, there's a weight on their shoulders. Right, they want to do the right thing, they want to make a difference, they want to use their skills, but they don't want to come in with this thought in the background, or maybe even the foreground of their mind, that they're only there because of a quota. Who wants to feel that way? No one wants to think that.
Jolynne Rydz:So that drive then to prove yourself, to prove that you own this, so that drive then to prove yourself, to prove that you own this, to do the best for your group as you represent them, can put so much pressure, and that pressure and that drive coming from this place of lack can actually be repelling, can actually make their impact lessened. And I just want to acknowledge here that so far I've been talking a lot about race, but there's also all sorts of other discrimination besides gender and race. There's also disability and language and all sorts of things like who you affiliate yourself with, with religion. All of that I didn't want to go too far in the detail. I want to talk about discrimination inclusion in general here. So let me just acknowledge that.
Jolynne Rydz:So back to this the weight on people's shoulders. It can be repelling when you're trying to make up for that lack, right? You don't want people feeling like, hey, the only reason you are here is because we let you. So when that spoken I've heard it spoken or unspoken tone permeates a team, an organization, it stops people, it stops the momentum, it stops true collaboration, true value of a person and the worth and value that they bring. True value of a person and the worth and value that they bring.
Jolynne Rydz:And even more than this, when we delve into the generations of trauma that some people have experienced, of being a victim, actually being a victim. Yeah, this victim mindset can stick around because it takes healing, it takes tools, it takes therapy, it takes all sorts of things to shift away from an identity that has kept you safe, from the broader group I'll say broader group because we know that's not the majority the broader group that has maybe persecuted you in the past or persecuted your loved ones, your ancestors. So this mindset, these beliefs in ourselves, if we've faced that persecution and discrimination in the past, it doesn't change overnight and it doesn't shift just by being included. So opening the door and allowing people in is one thing, but you need to empower that individual as well, to go from the victim mindset to the victor. So I hope you can see what I'm saying about DE&I is that the focus is on hey, we let you in, so be grateful, right, and that's hard. You can't just do that right. There's more than gratitude that's needed. So, rather than that, hey, we're letting people in a bit different to us. I want us to shift our perspective. I want us to see the opportunities, the value, the unique perspectives that these other people can bring, people that we haven't been able to engage well enough in because we've been nervous nervous of offending them, nervous of behaving the wrong way, nervous about what to say. It's okay, as we explore these territories, to feel uncomfortable. In fact it's needed. It shows us that we are in the right place. It shows us that we are in the right place. So this mindset, this identity and the beliefs from living so long as a quotes again, minority is not something organizations or leaders are equipped with or individuals on their own. It has to all happen in conjunction.
Jolynne Rydz:So I'm proposing that it's time that we go from d and I to empowering authenticity. That is the next step. Because when we empower authenticity, we bypass the human fear, the lack behavior, the drivers that cause us to protect ourselves, to want to hold on to the status quo, because there is no harm when you empower authenticity in someone else. No harm, there's no fear there. It doesn't take anything away from you, it just helps someone else. And we know the research and science behind giving and empowering others and developing others. We are hardwired to want to support the people around us because we are tribe beings.
Jolynne Rydz:So what this does, when we empower authenticity, is it takes the focus away from that leveling of equity and that fairness. That no, it's mine, it's mine. Think about the kids fighting again that one's mine, no, I have five Easter eggs. No, you've got four, I want six. All of that bickering right. The same thing happens in adults. So, instead of that bickering, can we flip this? When we empower authenticity, can we flip it to? What can this person bring that we didn't even think was possible, that we haven't even seen before? When we start to think this way, we expand our perspective, we are energizing, we tap into our creativity, our innovation, we can rethink the whole system and we come from an abundance mindset instead of scarcity and lack. Instead of the spot taken, it's the. What have we not thought of that we could do right now?
Jolynne Rydz:So for the individual that previously has been the victim or has felt discriminated against, they get reassurance. They aren't just a quota. When we empower authenticity, they feel safe and valued. When we empower authenticity, we are empowering people to actually value their own strengths, their own worth. Right? We're saying, hey, you, you have strengths. Do you even know what they are? Maybe not, a lot of people don't. Can you articulate them? Do you know how to mix and match them to the situation that you're in, to bring out magic, to work with other people, to work with their strengths and bring that synergy out together? So, without this sense of safety, that I am enough. I have all I need and I add value and I have my own worth. Without that self-certainty, people will operate from a place of fear, because we have so much going on from generations ago in our systems, in our messaging, that reinforces those fears. And in the long term, if we operate from the place of fear, so if we stay with at the level of diversity, equity, inclusion and we don't move towards empowering authenticity, this continued fear will impair our efforts, both individuals and the people that actually care about making a difference in this space. So for the system, can we just empower the individuals and hope that that will fix things? No, we've got to change the system as well. Individuals and hope that that will fix things. No, we've got to change the system as well.
Jolynne Rydz:I like to think about it as this you know the bird in the cage metaphor. So there's a bird that's been trapped in the cage for years and years and the door's been locked, and so that's all it knows is the world within that cage, and then someone opens the door. So that's the system changing. The door is now open, that bird is free to go, but it stays in the cage. Why? Because the cage is familiar, even though it hates the cage. Even though it hurts its claws, even though it hasn't seen nature in real life and been able to touch and feel, even though it's deprived, it still comes back and wants to stay in that cage because it's all it knows and our beings are hardwired for that kind of safety. So we need to be able to empower that bird to go out and test what it's like outside the cage, to know that if they step out, they can come back in if they want to. But they can step out and step out a bit further and further each time and start to learn about the world outside that cage and how they can bring their beauty to the rest of the world. What's awesome about being that caged bird is they have so many learnings that they can share about what it's like to be in the cage and how to get out. But to do that they have to get out. So the door needs to be open and we need to empower the bird.
Jolynne Rydz:So research around bias and I'm going to focus on racial bias for now, and we can extrapolate these thoughts to other areas but research into racial bias dates back to the 1920s and what we do know from these decades of research is that babies are not born biased. They're not. So if you put babies in a room and they've got these different toys, they will play equally with each right. In 2024, researchers from the Uni of Washington and Nebraska found that children actually can develop biases before they even reach grade one in primary or elementary school. And they learn this not by what we teach them or tell them overtly, but they learn this by observing everyday interactions of the people they trust and the people around them interactions of the people they trust and the people around them. So they learn this by whether there's this slight difference in the way you greet someone based on what they looked. What was that difference? They're constantly comparing.
Jolynne Rydz:They're little researchers they're looking for, okay, well, what's the commonality or the difference between why did you treat that person so cheerily, like, hey, how are you going? And the next person, hi. And I've experienced this. On the other end, I've walked into a shop and someone in front of me has been greeted. They are, let's say, caucasian, taller than me, and yeah, let's leave it at that Caucasian and taller than me. And they get this warm hi, how are you today? Welcome from the person serving them. Right, I come in and I'm like you know if you've met me or if you've seen me on video I'm a very smiley, like, open person, you know. So when I then get greeted with a yep hi, what can I get you? The tone is different, the eye contact is different and I can't help but wonder hmm, what is it about me that made you treat me so differently to the person before me in the line? So these little examples, our kids in the world, are learning and coding all of these and they're learning to then model and repeat the behaviors that we are consciously or unconsciously doing. So that's why being aware of our own unconscious bias, the things that we don't even know we're doing, and having someone point that out for you, can be so incredibly powerful, because I know there's a lot of people especially if you're listening to this podcast, I know you do care about this stuff. You do want to be inclusive, so it's so important that you can find someone, like a coach, like me or someone else, who can tell you and point out when you might be doing something that is actually excluding others or making them feel unsafe, or treating them so, so slightly differently that you might not even notice, but that person notices.
Jolynne Rydz:Now, in 2009, over 300 researchers from 25 countries got together to study the genome sequencing of a Hereford cow, and what they found was this cow has like over 22,000 genes, and 80% of these genes are similar in function to a human's. So what that means is DNA responsible for basic things like the way a cell divides, or our metabolism, or our immunity. 80% of that stuff is similar to a cow. Now, when you think about that, just picture yourself next to a cow. You feel pretty different to a cow, right In the way that you look, the way that you move in, what you eat, the way that your body functions, like you know, four legs and hooves versus two legs and arms. There seems like a lot of differences, yet in terms of DNA, there's an 80% similarity there, right? And then in 2005, researchers did a similar thing in terms of mapping the genomes of chimpanzees, and they found that 98.8% of the same basic functions of DNA are similar as well.
Jolynne Rydz:Now, I wanted to point that out because why are we quibbling over these like one or 2%? Why? Why is there so much angst, pain, effort going into solving this when we are so similar to each other? If babies don't know the difference. Why are we squabbling over this as adults? And the reason is because we have learned this through our parents and the parents before us and we are all teaching our kids and future generation this fear and this weariness, often without knowing it. And until we're aware and we start to self-check and monitor and notice when we do treat someone differently and notice when maybe we feel uncomfortable around someone just because of the way they look or just because of who they say they are, sit with that discomfort and go. Okay, is this just a learned fear or is there something else here that maybe I don't understand or need to explore? So when this fear goes unchecked, it can infiltrate the way we act, the way we think the systems we create and we keep reinforcing this cycle, the way we think the systems we create, and we keep reinforcing this cycle. So I am inviting you to empower authenticity instead.
Jolynne Rydz:I recall a time when I was about eight years old and we were driving in the car, we were driving home, and I was in the local neighborhood, so very close to home, so a place where you would feel normally that you're safe, and it was a summer's day, so the windows were down, the breeze was blowing in, it was sunshining, it was beautiful and we were driving quite slowly because it was a suburban street. And I recall this group of teenagers were just on the side of the road and they saw us and they looked at me and they yelled go back to where you came from. And at first I was a bit confused, like what? You mean the supermarket, like that's where I just came from. And then you know, eventually you click oh right, they, they mean I look different, because I am aware of that by this age.
Jolynne Rydz:And it was the feeling, the feeling that I could sense in them of fear and hate in their tone. And that's horrible feeling, to experience that someone literally is scared of you and hates you because you look slightly different to them. And we know now that difference is, you know, one or two percent. So whilst I've had some notable experiences of discrimination in my life, I know many others receive much worse than I do and way, way more. There's some really shocking stats and I haven't researched them so I don't want to drop them in and do them injustice here, but I's horrible.
Jolynne Rydz:So if you've ever experienced some form of discrimination, you might know that, or maybe you don't. But in coaching what we do is we know that this first instance that you recall of this feeling of, oh, I'm different and people will treat me differently because of that, and sometimes in really hurtful ways that first instance then gets your brain going oh crap, I've got to protect you from that. So then you look for more and more instances of where you might be discriminated against, where you don't belong, where you're not good enough, where you don't belong, where you're not good enough, and what this can lead to is people over-attributing behaviors and actions and perceptions to things that aren't really there. So we can over-feel like a victim of discrimination when there's actually less than what we think. So it's really important to try and be objective about this so we can start to latch on to this belief that we are constantly the victim and when we do that, we are disempowered. When you feel like everyone is doing this to you and you can't do anything about it, well, you can't. And all of this is made worse by that intergenerational trauma that I talk of and that comes through in the stories we tell each other. You know, your grandma tells you about all of these stories that they encountered in their life in the language we use, in the way that we react to certain situations, when this is all unconscious, it prevents us from making progress.
Jolynne Rydz:So, again, the invitation and challenge to you is to empower authenticity. Now, how do you do that? Yeah, so I'm going to tell you now how you do that for individuals and a little bit about how you do that for organizations. I can't help myself. I know people always tell me to pick one, just tell the individual. But I know, but you could be an individual experiencing discrimination. So, yes, you could use that in that way and yes, you could also use this model if you're a leader, whether or not you experienced discrimination yourself. So I want to give you both. I can't help it. So what I've developed is a framework called GAPPS. Yeah, so we want to empower authenticity by focusing on the GAPPS, and this is a GAPPS with a double P.
Jolynne Rydz:So the first step in GAPPS, which is G, is gratitude. So, as an individual, feeling really grateful for all that you have. And when we learn to do this repeatedly, it helps take us from that fear mindset to abundance, and that's really important because it then helps us recalibrate our brain to make sure we're not over-attributing behaviors to something that might not actually be there. So it makes sure. Not makes sure, but it helps us to be generous in the meaning that we give to people's behaviors, and that comes in later in the gaps model. So gratitude, so that's as an individual Now, as a leader and system perspective, being grateful for what your employees bring.
Jolynne Rydz:That might be different, that might be new, that helps you innovate, like, I think, in the age of AI. The one thing we have to learn is that we have to continuously innovate, because AI is sucking every bit of knowledge and wisdom that we know and is regurgitating it in this homogenized common denominator kind of way. So the more that we can innovate and be creative as humans, that's how we're going to keep our competitive advantage. So being grateful about all of that beautiful, rich tapestry that is maybe untapped, unseen, unheard and undervalued is what you can start to do as a leader. Because when you express that gratitude to that individual, then that boosts their confidence and that feeling of safety. So it's that reciprocal action going on All right. So that's gratitude.
Jolynne Rydz:So step two, a A stands for appreciation. So I actually melded the two there by accident. But gratitude is being grateful for what you have, but appreciation is then expressing that, so saying that thank you, so saying hey, you did that. So differently to how I would have approached that and I love that. So actually languaging that to people, because the more we appreciate others, the more like who doesn't feel good getting some form of appreciation? Right, it's energy boosting, it puts into the system rather than takes out. So again, can you see, this is building on that feeling of safety and love and value, rather than fear and difference and lack.
Jolynne Rydz:All right, the third step in the GAPPS model is perception. Now, these next two steps are very similar but they're slightly different and that's why there's two Ps. So perception is the first one. So perception is when something happens and in the moment you attach a meaning to that. So let me think of an example, oh well, the one I just gave. Yeah, I'm in a shop, someone in front of me gets a really warm greeting and then me, the next person, gets this kind of pretty average, if not slightly hostile greeting. Okay, so the meaning I could attach to that is oh, because that person was Caucasian, I'm Asian, that person who's serving me is racist. That is the meaning that I could attribute to that moment. That could be my perception in the moment.
Jolynne Rydz:Now, if I train my brain and I'm grateful and I know my strengths and I am starting to be generous in how I see others and know that they're doing the best that they can as well, maybe the person in front of them is someone they knew. Maybe I had something offensive on my t-shirt, like a slogan or something that I didn't realize was offensive, like, for example did you know that in Japanese culture it is polite to slurp while you're eating? So that could be really offensive to someone if you do that in Australia, where I live. And likewise, conversely, if you blow your nose in a restaurant, that's also considered really rude in Japan, but if you do that here, it's considered quite acceptable. So I'm always sitting in a Japanese restaurant going, oh my gosh, are these people actually Japanese and will they get offended if I blow my nose because my nose is running? And my nose runs when I eat spicy food?
Jolynne Rydz:So perception is that in that moment thing that happens and the meaning that you attach to it. So being really aware of your perception and questioning that meaning, that immediate meaning that you've attached to it, is a way of unpacking the beliefs and all of the conditioning that you've had up until now. So it's that pause and catch yourself in the moment thing Now that matters whether you're that individual who feels like they might have been discriminated. And it also matters when you are doing things in the process of being a leader, for example in recruitment, that initial perception you have of a candidate walking in, checking whether is there some valid reasons and evidence, are other people seeing what you maybe can't articulate? But there's something there. Is there actually something there or is it just that this is a little bit different for you and it might be a little bit uncomfortable and that's actually okay and might be even really awesome.
Jolynne Rydz:So that pause and check and questioning about your perception in the moment of someone's behavior, eye contact, can be a really great one. So I'm loving the word neuro spicy, so I'm going to use that. If someone is neuro-spicy, so as in not neurotypical, one of the signs that they can do is they can not make eye contact, because eye contact makes them really uncomfortable. So in a let's use the job interview example again, if someone's in a job interview and they say hi and they don't make eye contact with you as they're talking, you might take that as a lacking of confidence, but it could be that they're neuro-spicy, so there could be all of these different things. And let me be clear here this is probably not a good example, but you don't want to exclude someone from your employment because they're neuro-spicy, right? They actually bring incredible strengths when you know how to unpack that.
Jolynne Rydz:So let me be clear on that before people rip me apart. You know everything gets taken out of context these days. So let me be clear Neuro spicy is awesome, so, but what I'm trying to say is that looking down or looking away and not making eye contact, is a valid thing for people to do. So being aware of your perception and the meaning you attach to that in the moment is my point. So now that brings me to the next P, which is perspective. I'm giggling a bit here because I realize I've been talking for a while, but it's because I'm so passionate and I've been thinking about this topic for so long that now it's all just coming out. So if you're interested to work with me on it, do let me know, because I am so passionate about shifting beyond inclusion. It's not funny.
Jolynne Rydz:So, with perspective, let's get back now to the second P perspective. You're like isn't that the same as perception? I had to think about this too, but I'm like well, no, there's two words in the dictionary. Let's really look into why there's two words. So there is a slight nuance. So perspective is now your mindset and the actions and the way you see things, rather than the moment attachment of meaning.
Jolynne Rydz:So if we talk about now more that mindset shift, as a leader, you can shift your mindset towards okay, well, how do I coach this person and how do I actually highlight their unique strengths and how do I appreciate and admire them and help this person to help them flourish? How do I give them an environment that helps them to flourish? And for the individual, the mindset shift is from being the victim, like always assuming that you are the one that is being discriminated against and I understand if you do, and that's. I'm not saying that you haven't been, I'm just saying starting to let go of that as being as a protection and a safety blanket and identity. So shifting towards a victor. Because when you are a victor, when you are empowered, you get to make the change, you get to step up and shine, you get to do the things in the way that only you can. So don't wait for someone to open the door. Create your own door. So what I'm saying here is shifting your perspective to see, instead of the loss and the lack, see the opportunities, see the unknown as a great thing.
Jolynne Rydz:And now the final step in GAPPS is shine. So shine is really about the individual knowing what your strengths. Do you actually know what your strengths are? Because? So one of the tools that I use with my clients is the Gallup Strengths Finder, or Clifton Strengths Finder as some people might know it, and what this tool tells us is that one in 33 million people have the same top five strengths, in the same order as us One in 33 million. We are all literally so unique and all here to bring our uniqueness to the forefront, to the fabric of our society, to actually make these important shifts, that it's so important that we know what those strengths are. So that's one of the tools. Another tool that I use is a 360, so you can see how you are showing up to others.
Jolynne Rydz:So what are your strengths? So, firstly, do you know what they are? And if you do know what they are, what are you holding back from using because of fear, and is that fear actually still warranted? Because sometimes it totally is, and I want to acknowledge that sometimes it is unsafe to step out and be your whole self, and only you can decide that. But what I want to make sure is that is it actually warranted, or is your brain on autopilot warranted, or is your brain on autopilot? Has that fear become a safety blanket, and so much so that it's embedded in our identity? Because that's when it becomes harder to shift Not impossible, because I do it all the time, but it is harder and often, very often, you can't do that alone. You need someone to help you through that.
Jolynne Rydz:So, letting yourself shine and as a leader, how can you let this individual shine? How can you promote them in new ways and different ways? How can you open up people's perspective? If you can see someone has boxed one of your team members in, if you can see that they're maybe assuming the worst in them or having that meaning attachment in that perception, step right. And they're maybe assuming the worst in them or having that meaning attachment in that perception, step right. And they're not aware of that but it's limiting that team member's ability to make their do their best work right. It's your duty, I believe, as a leader, to help uncover that gently, with kindness and compassion. And compassion, because we can only truly collaborate with each other when we enable each and every person to shine. So the individual then helps the collective.
Jolynne Rydz:So I hope you've enjoyed this that I've been so excited to share and, to be honest, I've been scared of talking about this topic because I know how contentious it is. But I truly believe and I hope you agree and do let me know in the feedback, because I'm genuinely curious how this has landed for you, because I'm so passionate that we need to empower authenticity now. Yeah, move beyond diversity, equity, inclusion, inclusion and empower authenticity. So if you want to empower authenticity in yourself, you can dm me on linkedin so you can find me, Jolynne Rydz, j-o-l-y-n-n-e-r-y-d-z. Dm me and put in the word gapps, and you're going to have to spell it with two p's to make sure that you were listening to this episode gapps with two, with two P's. Pop it in a message to me, say hi and I will give you a free guide to putting gaps into practice for yourself as an individual.
Jolynne Rydz:Now, if you are a leader or you are an organization, you probably want way more than a little guide. I can give you a guide, but I don't know how far you're going to get, because some of this stuff goes so deep and some of it is so intertwined and so hidden and so protected that often you need a little bit more insight and deeper work to actually make some real, tangible, meaningful shifts in this space. So if you are a leader or an organization wanting to understand how you can use my GAPS program in more detail, there is a link in the show notes to book a half an hour chat with me just to explore what your DE&I currently looks like. How can we build on that, what are some of the gaps and how can we fit gaps in Gaps with a double P. So I trust that this has been a thought inspiring and useful episode for you. Always remember you were born for a reason. It's time to thrive.