Magnetic Authenticity Podcast with Jolynne Rydz

16: Courage to Be Seen with Ksenia Belova - Part 2

• Jolynne Rydz

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What happens when we strip away the masks we wear and lead from a place of complete authenticity? In this profound continuation of our conversation with photographer Ksenia Bilova, we explore the transformative power of authentic leadership and the courage required to embrace our true selves.

Ksenia shares her journey from "becoming a master of masking" to discovering the freedom and power that come from genuine self-trust. "The moment you trust yourself so much, it's so much easier to trust other people and get that trust from them," she reveals. This foundation of trust creates spaces where others can explore their authentic selves without judgment—a radical shift from conventional leadership approaches.

The conversation takes a fascinating turn when we examine why authenticity often feels threatening to established systems. "It's easier to control people who live in fear than people who are empowered," Ksenia observes, highlighting how many organizational structures inadvertently suppress the very qualities they need most: creativity, innovation, and genuine engagement.

Most powerfully, Ksenia describes the potential of a world where more people embrace authenticity: "The world would be so expansive... it would be the world of creation." She paints a vision where conversations shift from complaints to "beautiful realisations," and where self-validation replaces the endless quest for external approval.

This episode offers not just inspiration but a roadmap for transformation. For anyone who has ever felt the exhaustion of pretending to be someone they're not, Ksenia's journey provides both comfort and challenge—a reminder that while the path to authenticity may begin with discomfort, it leads to unimaginable expansion.

Ready to stop masking and start leading from your authentic center? This conversation might be the catalyst you've been waiting for. Share your thoughts on social media or leave a review—we'd love to hear what resonated most with you!

Want to connect with Ksenia?
➡️https://www.kseniabelova.com/

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I am a Confidence and Success Coach for leaders, Organisational Development Consultant and independent Leadership Circle Profile® Certified Practitioner. Information shared about this tool is courtesy of Leadership Circle®, all rights reserved. www.leadershipcircle.com

Jolynne Rydz:

Welcome back to the podcast. This is part two of a conversation with Ksenia Bilova. So if you haven't heard part one yet, pause, go back and find it, listen to that one and then you can dive right back into this one, because we are going straight back into our conversation with Ksenia. Yeah, and I love that and and I want to want to build on that, because I think I often see in leaders and teams there's this hesitancy to push the boundaries because people don't want to come across as mean, they don't want to hurt people, they don't want to make them uncomfortable. So can you talk to us more about that importance of just holding that space?

Ksenia Belova:

that space. Again, it's so hard to put it in words because it's it's all energy. It's that the moment you trust yourself so much, it's so much easier to trust other people and get that trust from them. Because, again, as you were saying before, you saw myself and, um, I think it was just justine. Justine, yeah, um, we were just out, like us, we are dancing on set, we're singing on set. We're being silly when we are being serious, focused. We've been. So we are just going with that flow, being totally present and adjusting with your energy.

Ksenia Belova:

So it's that play of the photographic dance, if you can get it, you know it's that play of the photographic dance, if you can call it that. You know, it's just really that movement, movement in all senses. So holding that space is holding the safe and nonjudgmental space space. So the non-judgment and safety are the main words here. Because I see you as a whole human being. I don't look at how your hair looks, like what you're wearing, I see you at a core and because I see that and again I trust that what I see is true, because again, it's all, it's all comes to trust, um, I love to push those boundaries gently because I want you to see that yeah, so it's getting the person to realize because you're holding that space for them.

Ksenia Belova:

Yes, I'm holding space and I am giving time for things to land, for the feelings to land in you and start the embodiment process, because a photo shoot is only the start of that, because it's the start of that process of like huh, oh, maybe maybe things can be different. Maybe even in corporate world I don't have to wear all the black outfits and be stern and be like a fighter, because it all comes from a conditioning as well. So much comes from a conditioning and from the past, because our role models, most of our role models, this is what everyone's do, everyone does, and so we just mimic it. So for us it's a normal thing, it becomes a normality. We don't, because we don't know what we don't know until you are faced with it. So when I say pushing boundaries, it's not unrespectfully.

Ksenia Belova:

I would never push boundaries like personal boundaries in terms of if you say no, it's a no, it's not that kind of boundaries, but it's pushing you out of your comfort zone Because, again, when you step into that next version of you, this is where the whole like it's so powerful, but it takes time and it takes dedication as well. You need to make a decision. I am ready, even if you're not ready at the time, but usually people who end up in my hands. They usually, if they are with me there, it's not because I'm special or anything, but I'm just observing from my experience. Something magical happens then and again. It's so hard to explain it in words until you experience it, because it's that self-belief as well.

Jolynne Rydz:

Yeah, and I am so passionate about what I do in workplaces because I think imagine the energy we could create and the impact we could create across the globe if everyone had that feeling and that energy when they showed up to work every day, instead of what I see on the train people commuting home absolutely shattered from being someone they're not and trying to put on this face, and then just come home and relax and be themselves. How powerful is it when you can do what you're passionate about and be yourself and know that without having to be validated by your pay, your status, your title, whether you're in the leadership team or not, how other people see you their feedback like when it comes from within right.

Ksenia Belova:

Yeah, but it's not convenient for the society. Tell me more about that um well, especially big corporations and um um states, and you know people who want to make lots of money and they're just transitional. They need workers who are easy to control. It's easier to control people who live in fear than people who are empowered.

Jolynne Rydz:

Oh my gosh, that is so cool, but I think honestly, I believe that that is like a, not a prevailing. What am I saying? I think there's a lot of businesses that might operate on that model, whether intentional or not, but I also think maybe we haven't seen the possibility of this fully empowered, self-confident, authentic workforce because it's so rare. Like, if I try and think of a whole organisation that does that really well, I'm actually really struggling, like one of them that comes to mind, just because I saw something they did yesterday was maybe the Resilience Project, which is here in Australia, where they're all about building, basically, resilience in our whole community, and everyone I've interacted from them do seem to be their whole self, because that's what they're teaching, I guess. So they get it, but I think it's rare.

Ksenia Belova:

It is rare and I think it.

Ksenia Belova:

Look, I am a believer that it is possible and I'm a dreamer, so I can see how it can happen not now, but it can happen.

Ksenia Belova:

It all depends on the approach and on the view and the mindset of the leader of the company because, again, if they have a purpose, their team will leave that purpose through them as well and they will be happy coming to work and they will be happy to work for a salary because they're making an impact.

Ksenia Belova:

But it all depends from the leadership, because in big corporations there are so many layers, so the person who is in charge, the last person they don't even know, people who are doing actual work, and when you don't have that connection, when you don't have that relationship with your people, how can you expect that your people will want to willingly work with you? Because, again, for some people, some people are driven for with by money and which is fine, but a lot of people they need to know that they're doing like you're spending most of your day at work, at least if you know that you're doing it for a purpose, that you are helping someone, but it all. I think it's so important for the leadership team, for hr um, like in big corporations, to really acknowledge their employees, their team, and listen to them, what they want, what they need because they will get more of them, because it's a different energy.

Jolynne Rydz:

Yeah, it is. It goes from this I have to do this, this obligation energy which kind of puts you in a space of fear, like if I don't do this there will be consequences. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited about this. Let's do everything we can to make it happen. Like it just I don't know. It seems so clear to me, but I don't know that it's clear to everyone.

Ksenia Belova:

It's clear for those who want to see it.

Jolynne Rydz:

So invitation here is to step in, step into this energy of being authentic with yourself but also recognizing the value of allowing others to be that too, even if it's something uncomfortable for you or something awkward or new. It really comes from this place of almost service and trust. Really.

Ksenia Belova:

Yeah, because people are craving connection, real connection, and it doesn't matter what job you're doing, everyone wants to be valued. Ask them how is their life going? What's happening in that? But be human, I mean. For me it seems such a such a. You know, I take it almost for granted. Not for granted, but like it's such a normal thing, because obviously, like that's how I approach my life and everyone around me as well. But it's that human aspect of actually caring about people and being kind. It seems so easy but it's not.

Jolynne Rydz:

As you're talking, I'm wondering, like, because I think most people will want to be kind and caring, but there's something that stops them. So I'm curious to know, like, what gave you the courage to just just be you and to be kind and caring, regardless of what you maybe thought might the consequences might be?

Ksenia Belova:

I think I um touched the rock bottom, um, in my life at a certain stage where I was so much in conflict with myself. I hated myself, I hated the way I looked and there was nothing wrong with me, like I'm looking at the photos, like, come on the the way, like I was so abandoning myself and being such a people pleaser without thinking of what actually I need. And I've touched the bottom and I think I had to go down that lane. Because when you touch the bottom, when you arrive to that point of the turning point, the pivotal point, when you're like, okay, do you want to continue to live in this misery and just live your life around what people want you to be and to do and you completely neglect yourself and lacking self-respect and self-love and not fighting for your rights and not speaking up. Do you want to choose that path? Yeah, okay, go for it. Or do you want to flip it Because there is something else out there?

Ksenia Belova:

There are so many possibilities and I chose the second one and I got the courage because I didn't want to do so. I was going away from it towards the abundance, from the scarcity to abundance. I was going away from it because I did not want to feel that way anymore. I started to to um, to do so much work on myself and it was so hard because I've realized how much I was lying to myself and, as a consequence, to others too lying not in terms of lying, but more um, just not not being me. Maybe superficially people saw me still as me because I could fake it really really well. I became a master of masking.

Jolynne Rydz:

A master of masking. Oh, I reckon I've done that too in the past. Yeah, that's a bit ADHD Like the chameleon.

Ksenia Belova:

Now I don't like. If I need to mask, I can. I know I can do it, so I have learned that skin skill. But I don't have to If I don't like you. I'm not going to tell you in your face that I don't like you, but I'll just walk away. I don't have time now to deal with things that are not aligned with me, with people who are not aligned with me. I am very, very strict on my own boundaries with me. I am very, very strict on my own boundaries. I'm respecting them so much now because I can't go back, because I am my own best friend. If I don't look after myself, no one will. I'm getting validation from myself, not from outside, which I used to do, and so you constantly crave that, crave that, crave that and you think it gives you confidence, because you get praise and you feel it feels good. But it's all on a superficial level.

Jolynne Rydz:

Yeah, it's false confidence.

Ksenia Belova:

It's false confidence.

Jolynne Rydz:

False worth.

Ksenia Belova:

Yeah, and the courage comes when you really make a decision and you're like, okay, let's just do it, let's go all in. I didn't even think of will I fail. How does it look like I did not care, I just went for it, that's it. I didn't, I didn't overthink. I'm like, okay, that's it, that's the point. Let let's go from this. This is probably about six years ago, maybe seven years ago. This is where I started to really transform my mind and doing the work and working with coaches and, yeah, reprogram my brain completely. Yeah, reprogram my brain completely, because I was so insecure and living in such a victim mode and blaming my past for the way I am. You know, I grew up like this, I had these traumas, blah, blah, blah.

Jolynne Rydz:

So I'm entitled to behave like this, which, seeing that and accepting that was so hard yeah because that that was the way I lived all my life yeah, because I think there's this really confronting realization isn't there of when you because at times you are a victim from a persecutor, whether that's like you know a mental, emotional, physical of when you because at times you are a victim from a persecutor, whether that's like you know a mental, emotional, physical but when you realize you're the one keeping yourself as a victim is pretty, pretty bloody, confronting. Like how am I numbing myself from this and am I ready to stop living this way?

Ksenia Belova:

it's a pretty big realization it is. But it was also a good excuse because it was really hard to let go of that victim mode, because it means I had to change my identity, because I had to step into something that was so my victim mode. Identity was my safe space.

Ksenia Belova:

I knew how to swim in that space yeah and and changing that I didn't deciding to, then, okay, I'm ready to let go of it. That was really hard, because then you don't have your safety boat anymore. You can't, you can't make excuses anymore. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of peeling down the layers and you keep peeling and peeling and peeling and it hurts, um, because again it's a lot of grief. You're letting go of literally all these versions of you that you don't want to see anymore and you don't want to be yeah, and taking, taking, like still honoring that journey and taking the learnings from it as well.

Jolynne Rydz:

It's like when I get to this point with my clients, I don't get there with all of my clients because not all of them are ready or wanting to do this work, but the ones that do, oh my gosh, it gives me tingles about just the transformation that they get. It's so, so beautiful to see. So I'm so pleased that you shared this. I could talk about this all day.

Jolynne Rydz:

I'm purposely not going to but that whole you know identity and that you know, facing the fact that you might need to change your identity is really massive, and having support to understand how to do that in a really safe and beautiful way which still might be uncomfortable and still might have the pain of that grieving, but you know you have someone to help you get there to the other side is so powerful. Oh okay, where do we go from here? So I would love to hear your perspective, like where can you see things going? This is a really broad question, but if more and more people really stepped into that authentic self, that confidence, that self-validation, and deciding to no longer live the way that they were because it was causing them too much misery, and deciding to really take control and see how they can live that life purpose Like if more and more people did all of that, what do you think could happen?

Ksenia Belova:

the world would be so expensive oh, I love that word and so beautiful because it's that feeling of fulfillment and self-love, because it takes a lot of self-love to do that. It's just the whole world would reflect that beautiful feeling of love. Yeah, and can you imagine people like the conversations that people would have? They wouldn't complain. Would have, they wouldn't complain, they would be just sharing those beautiful realizations.

Ksenia Belova:

the feelings, the growth again, the expansion and the dreams, instead of sitting and gossiping and like just talking negatively about things, about you know states, parliament, whatever you know politics or even their personal life, like the conversations would be so beautiful because I'm leaving this in my inner circle and outer circle, because we don't talk about complaining or like we just it's not, it's not part of, it's not even in our system anymore. Um, so it's that it would be the world of creation.

Jolynne Rydz:

Oh, wow. And doesn't everyone want to create somewhere in their heart, even if it's like the garden, or a painting or a cake? It doesn't always have to be your career, but no it would be so.

Ksenia Belova:

There would be so much more inspiration, beauty creation, because we can only create fully when we are in that beautiful space of peace, presence and feeling whole.

Jolynne Rydz:

That was such a beautiful, beautiful way to describe it and I think I want to leave it at that point. Normally I get a bit more, you know, tactical for people, so I make it more tangible. But I think it's nice to kind of just leave that open so people can just dwell on what that would look like for them. So I would love to segue into our swift seven questions. And so these ones, don't overthink them, just first thing that comes to mind, nothing's right or wrong. So question number one is in yourthink them? Just first thing that comes to mind, nothing's right or wrong. So question number one is in your view, what are three words that describe an?

Ksenia Belova:

ideal leader, authentic Human.

Jolynne Rydz:

Directional. Oh wait, wait, I have to pause.

Ksenia Belova:

I know I said this was swift, but what do you mean by directional? Directional in terms of they have to have a direction to guide people. Of where these people need to go. So very straight communicator, but also having an inside direction of like as a bigger picture, not just the. I don't know, it was to the word that came down.

Jolynne Rydz:

I just wanted to kind of like purpose and intention and in a certain direction I love, love it, beautiful, all right. So question two is fill in the blank. Magnetic authenticity is Vulnerability. Yes, when you notice yourself trying to fit in, what's the first thing that you do?

Ksenia Belova:

Fake it till, you make it. Yeah.

Jolynne Rydz:

What's a song that gets you really pumped? Don't stop me now oh yes, don't you remember it's so good, isn't it all right? Number five what's the most daring thing you've ever done? Daring in what sense?

Ksenia Belova:

um courageous courageous um swimming with well, apart from two immigrations, yeah, swimming with whale sharks in western australia oh wow, that would have me scared for sure.

Jolynne Rydz:

was it nice, was it? How was it? It was amazing, I had so many feelings.

Ksenia Belova:

I had anxiety, I had fear, but also excitement, which then I realized in that moment that that anxiety and excitement are actually the same feeling. It's just it depends what definition you give to them.

Jolynne Rydz:

Yes, oh, that's such a powerful realization. That's another, that's a whole nother podcast. All right, number six. Do you have a favorite quote or mantra that you live by?

Ksenia Belova:

You are worth being seen.

Jolynne Rydz:

Oh, that just describes everything we've just talked about, isn't it? Oh, you're worth being seen. I love that All right. So final question, which is what's one small thing that brings you incredible joy?

Ksenia Belova:

Dancing.

Jolynne Rydz:

Oh, yes, me too. So much fun, Wow, this has been a such a wonderful conversation, like even more wonderful than I thought it was going to be. So thank you. If our listeners want to connect with you or want to explore what branding photography would look like for them, where can they find you?

Ksenia Belova:

The easiest thing is just to jump on Google and type in my name, Ksenia Belova, and then you will have all my links, all my websites, socials, linkedin. That's easy. So that's actually part of the personal brand and I'll give you. Can I give a little task to the listeners? Yeah, please do so. If you want to check how your personal brand looks online, google your name and see what comes up, yes, and ask yourself questions Are you happy with how it looks like or is there room for improvement? Yeah, I love that.

Jolynne Rydz:

Oh, okay, I'm going to go do it as soon as we hang up, because I haven't done it in a long time. Well, thank you so much for joining us on the podcast. It's been truly incredible, and I hope and trust that somewhere out there, people have just found a nugget and have gone. Oh yes, that's it and it's clicked for them, and I think that's what comes from just you being you and leaning into your sole purpose, as you said. So, thank you so much for joining us.

Ksenia Belova:

Thank you so muchelene. It was, um, yeah, it was so beautiful, and I just love this kind of conversations that you know, again, going with the flow, like you have some ideas when we're going and then you might just go another direction, and this is where it's that being present and being fully open to whatever comes. How beautiful is it?

Jolynne Rydz:

It was beautiful, thank you.

Ksenia Belova:

Thank you for having me.

Jolynne Rydz:

Oh, I trust that you found so many amazing moments and aha moments and insights from that conversation. Here are a few that are standing out for me the moment you trust yourself so much, it's so much easier to trust other people and get that trust from them. Wow, trust is so fundamental to leadership and it was really nice to hear Ksenia explain the importance of that trust, starting with yourself. How many of us truly trust ourselves? Another one is safety and that need for non-judgment and seeing someone as a whole human. If we all did that as leaders, there would be some really real conversations that would go on in workplaces that help avoid some of the challenging and so many of the challenging situations that I see.

Jolynne Rydz:

And it's easier to control people who are in fear than people who are empowered. That was a big one and I think it's one to really ponder on, because so much of our structures in organizations are about control for good intent, it's because we want to reduce risk or we want to get the best outcome we can, but sometimes these controlling factors can actually limit people's real value add, where they can just be themselves and absolutely shine without the bureaucracy of it. So it's a such a wonderful question that I would love for you to ponder, and there are so many more. I'd love for you to reach out and share what's come up for you from this episode and until next time, remember you were born for a reason. It's time to thrive.

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