6: Leading with Intentional Introversion

Ever wondered why some leaders thrive in solitude while others radiate energy in social settings? Discover the secrets behind introverted and extroverted leadership styles, as we explore the inherent biases in organisational structures that favour extroverts and often overlook the silent strengths of introverts. Drawing upon the wisdom of Carl Jung and insights from Susan Cain's "Quiet," we examine how these biases manifest from early childhood education to corporate hierarchies and how creating environments that appreciate diverse strengths can lead to organisational success.

💖Love the podcast?💖
You can pay it forward by:

• Rating and Reviewing wherever you listen
• Sharing it with others!

Ready to level up your impact?

➡️Book a complimentary mini-strategy session and I'll help unpack one of your current challenges

➡️Join our Masterclass Waitlist and get practical tools to level up your impact

Let's connect!

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jolynne-rydz/

https://www.instagram.com/jolynnerydz/

https://www.facebook.com/brillianceinspired

I am a Confidence and Success Coach for leaders, Organisational Development Consultant and independent Leadership Circle Profile® Certified Practitioner. Information shared about this tool is courtesy of Leadership Circle®, all rights reserved. www.leadershipcircle.com

Chapters

• 0:00 Introvert vs. Extrovert Leadership Dynamics
• 10:44 Harnessing Introverted Leadership Strengths
• 12:19 3 Ways to be Intentionally Introverted

Transcript

Jolynne rydz: 0:36

Who makes a better leader, an introvert or an extrovert? So what is an introvert and an extrovert? There's a lot of different sort of definitions around this, but the definition I like to use is around energy and how you recharge. So an introvert tends to like solitude, can perform and thrive when things are quiet, when they have time to think and, yeah, basically that, that sort of alone time. And then an extrovert tends to want people around them, energy, buzz, hustle. There might be someone who's comfortable working in a cafe or a busy office, whereas the introvert would love working from home because they're in their own environment and they can control the noise.

Jolynne rydz: 1:22

Now, that's a spectrum, right. You're not just all one or all the other. I think we are at different times, but we have a preference and a tendency towards introversion and extroversion. You can love going out Like I often surprise people. I love standing up and doing a public speech or I love doing karaoke, but I am highly introverted. I need my alone time to recharge. So that's why it often gets confused with being shy and socially awkward and all of these can kind of come with being more introverted. But fundamentally I think it's about the energy.

Jolynne rydz: 1:59

And why does this matter. It matters because a lot of our organizational structures are designed for extroverts. So when I say structures, I mean businesses, workplaces, schools, universities. They are designed for people who are perceived to be more confident, more sociable and more switched on, even when that might not necessarily be the case. For example, in a meeting, if you were to see someone stumble and go I'm not really sure when they get asked a question versus someone who goes nope. This is exactly what we need to do. We make a judgment, whether we know it or not, whether it's conscious or unconscious. We make a judgment, whether we know it or not, whether it's conscious or unconscious. We make a judgment on that person's ability to perform their job based on the way they answered that question when they were put on the spot.

Jolynne rydz: 2:49

Now, an extrovert is probably more equipped to deal with that kind of high pressure environment A lot of people in the room, little time to think versus an introvert that needs that time and space and is better in a one-on-one environment because they can go deep and they can connect without getting overwhelmed. Another example is the way we recruit. Interview. Panels are still an incredibly common and still useful tool, but they are generally going to suit an extrovert over an introvert.

Jolynne rydz: 3:21

An introvert walking into that meeting has to get over their confidence to know who they are, be able to articulate that, be able to interact with more than one person in the room and self-promote themselves on top of all that. So an extrovert walking in probably doesn't tend to have all of that when they walk in. So we're already walking in on a different level. And then when we think about hierarchy, so the higher you go in an organization generally, the more okay you need to be with public speaking and facilitating. Over the years I've seen a lot of incredibly talented leaders get promoted to that executive level and then get quite nervous and almost shocked and they go through this uncomfortable period of not wanting to speak when everyone's looking to them to hear what they have to say and just generally not being able to communicate with confidence on a large scale in front of a room of hundreds, maybe thousands of people. So it is an expectation that when you're up there that you can do that quite easily. So for an extrovert that's probably going to come more easily to someone like that than someone who's more introverted because they have an introvert has less practice in those kind of scenarios. So there's definitely a bias that extroverts make better leaders, and psychology started to pick up on some of this bias in the 1920s where they realized that there was pressure to project confidence. In 1921, Carl Jung stated that introverts were educators and promoters of culture, and he went on to talk about how what an introvert does and their internal awareness of how they're operating is actually really needed in this world. And he also was already noticing that attached with that strength was an embarrassment that was kind of unfounded and a prejudice as well. And if you want to read more about that, I highly recommend the book Quiet by Susan Cain the Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking Really great book the Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking Really great book.

Jolynne rydz: 5:39

And another example is when I see kids. So I've got two young kids and they're in early childhood education. What I notice is sometimes if you see a playground full of kids running around, there's the ones that are zooming, confident, laughing and boisterous and there's the ones that are hanging back. They look nervous, they look overwhelmed, they have like a stunned look on their face because they don't know how to interact. They're not sure what all these kids are doing. They're zipping around faster than their brain can process and they're also trying to follow the rules and trying to put all that together and it's a very overwhelming kind of environment. Now, there's nothing wrong with either of those two scenarios or anything in between, but what I notice is the reaction the adults have to them. So some people do find that the quiet hanging back kid there's something wrong with them. Hey, are they okay? You know, why aren't they playing with the other kids? Why are they always playing by themselves? You know, they need to be a bit more confident. They're only like three years old and then the excited, boisterous ones tend to get a lot more attention and because it is easier to interact with them. But it all comes down to safety and trust. So when that introverted kid feels safe, they will come out of their shell and be that more boisterous, connected, animated one. So it's about appreciating that different environments actually let different types of people thrive.

Jolynne rydz: 7:02

I've also seen in a restaurant a customer unhappy with their meal wanting to return. It speaks to the wait person and makes a complaint and the wait person's really in it like shaking, going oh yes, sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, yeah, I'll fix that up for you. And the customer just gets more frustrated and frustrated, more assertive, more loud, which then makes this poor staff member just shrivel even more in fear. And so then the manager comes out. Now the manager did happen to be more confident, and then I could just literally watch the customer actually tone down their language, their aggression, and speak more level-headedly with the confident person, like the confidence reassured them that their solution, their problem, was going to be resolved. So again, I think this is all unconscious stuff that was happening.

Jolynne rydz: 7:57

Another thing I see happen a lot is in meetings. So someone will say something, maybe a bit more quietly, maybe in a bit more of a long-winded way in a meeting, and then the meeting will go on on, and then someone else says it more confidently, a little bit more concisely, and everyone goes oh my goodness, how have we not thought of that before? That is so good, well done. And then the first person is thinking what I just said, that why do they get noticed? And I don't. And so it can be incredibly frustrating when you are unable to articulate the wonderful thoughts that go on as an introvert in a way that can be heard.

Jolynne rydz: 8:40

So what I'm proposing is that we could all be intentionally introverted when we choose to. So what I mean by this is that this skill being intentionally introverted the beauty of introversion is often undeveloped skill in both introverts and extroverts. What I mean by this is there's so many courses and programs on public speaking, communication, being more confident, and there's less so in you know really, but it's increasing now in terms of really starting to listen, connect and more empathetic and analyze and do that whole systems thinking and all of the things that you generally need to be more quiet, thoughtful space to be able to do by researchers at Florida International University and they found that, whilst introversion and extroversion had similar results in leaders in terms of their results and impacts, introverted leaders felt much less supported and they felt like they had to be more extroverted to get the job done. So imagine this like imagine having to show up to work every day and be someone you're, not just to feel valued or just to actually be respected or get your job done. That's an incredibly incredible energy drain that I just want to highlight for people that are introverted but always told that they need to be more extroverted to get noticed, to have success. So what I'm saying is, when you're intentionally introverted, to get noticed, to have success. So what I'm saying is, when you're intentionally introverted, you can still have success. So it's about developing this in a way that is an alignment for you and it's a skill that people that are more extroverted can use as well, because it helps us to balance. I'm always about balance and being able to broaden your skill set and have the ability to use it when you think it's going to fit best. So when we develop that in a way that's in alignment for the individual, that's when we're starting to tap into that magnetic authenticity.

Jolynne rydz: 10:45

About 10 years ago, I was sitting in a leadership development program and it was a six months long program and at the time I was incredibly shy, incredibly introverted. I would sit in those kind of environments there were 30 people in the room and I would be comparing myself to everything that they're saying. What would I know? How? You know, they're all so smart, they're all so wise, they're so confident. And here I am with my heart racing, my face burning, wanting to contribute, but terrified that other people would think I was stupid.

Jolynne rydz: 11:19

As part of the program, I made a commitment to myself that I would share and speak up more than I had in the past. And so when I finally got the courage to do that had in the past. And so when I finally got the courage to do that, wow, the feedback was incredible. People came up to me after the session saying, wow, that was really insightful. I really thank you for sharing.

Jolynne rydz: 11:40

And the more I did this, the more I just got over that burning fear and just shared it, the more I realized that there's an incredible impact you can have when you're intentionally introverted, because when you're sitting there and waiting and listening to what everything else has been said and piecing it all together and then coming out with what you think is the right way forward, there's value in that. So there's a skill in observing and waiting for that right moment to share. And because I rarely spoke, people actually leaned in more when I did so. I had to realize that that was a strength rather than a failure and a fault of mine. So there are three ways that you can be intentionally introverted when you choose to be so.

Jolynne rydz: 12:30

The first one is to know your introverted strengths. So know them. What are they? What do they look like? Are you great at listening deeply? Are you great at connecting with someone and building rapport, maybe one-on-one, very quickly. Are you able to sit back and assess a room and see what's going on and read the undercurrents and almost tell what people are thinking and feeling and responding to someone who's maybe more vocal, and you can kind of see what's happening, the stuff that's not being said. And if you're an extrovert, how could you benefit by doing more of some of these things? How could that help bring balance to your leadership strengths and your skill set? So know your introverted strengths and embrace them. So the second way you can be more intentionally introverted is to use these strengths with intention. So once again, it's that toolkit Once you know your strengths, you can decide when you want to use them.

Jolynne rydz: 13:36

So, as an example, I often facilitate workshops and when I'm doing that, I am at the front and I'm tapping into that extroverted energy which I can tap into, but it drains me. So that's the difference it drains me instead of energizing me. So it drains me. So then I know afterwards when someone comes up to me and says, hey, that really resonated, but I want some more help with this. Can you help me with this? I then get energized because I can tap into going. Oh, I can hear you now one-on-one, your unique situation and I can give you some really tailored insights into how to step forward with that. So it's knowing when you need to flex to bring out your more extroverted tendencies and dial down the introverted ones and then go the other way.

Jolynne rydz: 14:27

Now when you do that, like I said, for an extrovert it's going to be really draining to sit back and, you know, be more quiet. It's probably really draining to work from home where you're quite isolated unless you have a big, noisy family around you. So it's about the third step in being intentionally introverted is recharge. In being intentionally introverted is recharge, so recharge in the way that suits for you. So after I facilitated a session, I need to just sit down, eat a meal on my own. It's incredibly fueling to nourish my body with food and also just be on my own with my own thoughts, processing everything that went on and what the opportunities are and where we could take things next and just recharge.

Jolynne rydz: 15:15

So what recharging looks like is going to be different for you, but again, do it intentionally and do it with the full embodiment that it's okay to recharge, so it's okay for these different environments to be draining for you and give yourself that permission and that space to recharge, because it's so for these different environments to be draining for you, and give yourself that permission and that space to recharge because it's so, so important. So I'd love for you to share all of the ways that you're trying to be more intentionally introverted and how that's working for you. So you can find me on LinkedIn, just send me a DM or post a comment on one of my threads and I would love to hear all about it. So here's to being more intentionally introverted.